Family Estrangement

Most estrangements have no clear start or end dates and they do not occur suddenly and singularly. Rather, estrangement happens dynamically, unraveling or building as time passes. They can slowly develop over months or years, or decades, and often the first attempt may not “stick”. Because estrangement is traumatic for so many, there is a natural tendency to assume it is a negative event in someone’s life. While that is certainly true for many, there is however, an alternative experience many of us have felt since becoming estranged from our biological families. Estrangement allows us to let go of the relationships and obligations that did not serve us, and often caused us significant harm and pain. For many people, estrangement (while in and of itself can be a traumatic experience) develops into a transformative and positive experience. We endure this pain and sorrow as well as liberation and relief. How do we wrap our heads around that? Perhaps we should consider post traumatic growth.