America 2025
Existential dread
I take an existential approach to psychotherapy, which means I have developed a philosophical method in thinking about life. Other therapeutic approaches are usually biological, psychological, social, intellectual or spiritual in nature and generally neglect philosophy tending to focus on individuals or relationships but seldom consider the human condition and its wider political context. What does this mean, exactly? One thing is for sure, human beings have struggled to find answers to existential questions for a long time:
What does it mean to be alive?
How can I be my authentic self and still be connected to other people?
How can I live a meaningful life?
What happens when we die?
For me, this is the best part of therapy - no matter if I’m the therapist or the client. How do we understand our complex world? Where do we find ourselves in it? What is our responsibility to the others with whom we share this world?
I’m lucky that before becoming a psychotherapist, I taught university courses about American culture focusing on gender, race, income inequality, sexuality, and media. My education and experience teaching allows me to help clients understand the sociocultural contexts of distress and pain which emerge out of our flawed healthcare, education, legal, agriculture, housing systems and many more. I believe our behavior - no matter how unhealthy or self destructive- is understandable within these contexts and that people are capable of change when they develop skills to make choices which align with their values.
We are living through an extremely tumultuous time in our nation’s history and many of us are depressed, anxious, confused, and angry. Existential therapists like me, consider the challenges of everyday experience so that we can live more resourcefully. As human beings we are the experts of our own experiences. I can assist you in developing skills to handle life’s absurdity and uncertainty.
Improv Group Therapy
For counseling students, school counselors, and experienced clinicians looking to incorporate creative, effective interventions in their work, embracing openness and playfulness is extremely helpful in a variety of therapeutic settings to engage left and right brain, stay present, take bold risks, and fail spectacularly (and live to laugh about it). Using improvisational techniques in counseling to reduce anxiety and depression is effective because there is a significant connection between the skills necessary to self-regulate and the basic principles of improvisation: acceptance, commitment, curiosity, and discovery. Incorporating these objectives in therapy groups provide supportive ways to practice letting go, relinquish control, and share your generosity with others. Applying these techniques in therapy groups with clients who struggle with social anxiety and fears of rejection can reduce negative self-talk, promote creativity and joy, find meaningful connections with others, develop skills in team building, and strengthen non-verbal communication. By adopting interventions that stress the importance of focusing on others, reframing conflict and negotiation as collaboration, and demonstrating leadership by sharing and affirming, counselors can help clients identify coping skills with cost-effective, brief interventions suited for a variety of populations and organizations. The line between wellness and improvisation isn’t hard to imagine if you think of it that way. Here are 8 things to remember:
* Say Yes. Most people are familiar with improv’s #1 “rule”. Yes, and. That’s because it’s so easy to understand and practice. Agree with the premise your scene partner offers. Saying yes is important because you both start from a place of mutual agreement. If you start here you are very quickly moving forward together to explore and discover.
* Listen. I mean actively listen. The best way to practice this is to use exercises which require participants to repeat the last thing their scene partner just said to them. They don’t need to deliver it with the same tone or attitude, but it aligns both people in a stated goal, belief, or plan to move the scene forward, explore and discover together.
You’re not crazy
Dog Days of Summer
A recent development occurring during these dog days of summer is that my 6 year-old French Bulldog, Reuben Sandwich, PhD, and I were successfully evaluated, tested, and certified as a Therapy Dog Team by the Alliance of Therapy Dogs (ATD).
Therapy dog teams provide therapy in lots of different settings, like airports, nursing homes, assisted living facilities, rehab facilities, mental health institutions, hospitals, cancer centers, hospice facilities, correctional facilities and can also provide therapy in patients’ homes.
Self Care on a shoestring budget
A lot of what our consumer society means when they talk about self care is about buying yourself something. But real self care isn’t about buying anything. Sure, a manicure can feel good, but not everyone has an extra $50 lying around for a mani/pedi splurge. Luckily, I know some tricks to ease anxiety on the cheap! Here are some very DIY forms of self care that are backed up by research to improve your mood.
Post Traumatic Growth (PTG)
Post Traumatic Growth (PTG) was first developed by Richard G. Tedeschi and Lawrence G. Calhoun in 1996 when they began publishing their research on the positive outcomes reported by people who experienced trauma. Tedeschi and Calhoun define PTG as “positive psychological changes experienced as a result of the struggle with trauma or highly challenging situations”. Research shows that trauma can increase self-awareness and self-confidence, positively change our self-perception, deepen other relationships, increase our appreciation for our own existence, and realize that making decisions is in our best interest, including protecting ourselves from abuse in relationships.
Family Estrangement
Most estrangements have no clear start or end dates and they do not occur suddenly and singularly. Rather, estrangement happens dynamically, unraveling or building as time passes. They can slowly develop over months or years, or decades, and as in my case, the first attempt doesn’t “take”. Because estrangement is traumatic for so many, there is a natural tendency to assume it is a negative event in someone’s life. While that is certainly true for many, there is however, an alternative experience many of us have felt since becoming estranged from our biological families. Estrangement allows us to let go of the relationships and obligations that did not serve us, and often caused us significant harm and pain. For many people, estrangement - while in and of itself is often a traumatic experience - develops into a transformative and positive experience. We endure this pain and sorrow as well as liberation and relief. How do we wrap our heads around that? Perhaps we should consider post traumatic growth.